Wierder and wierder

Never has my life looked more topsy-turvy than right now. First I am at my brokest; if it wasn't for my patient landlord I'd be a hermit by now.

Speaking of hermits, there's this one that lives not too far outside my estate who I see everyday. All he has is a simple tent-ish structure right next to a fence. Every evening he sits there by the small fire that he's lit, stretched out leisurely. How free he seems. No rent to pay, nothing but basic possessions around him. Humanity lived that way not too long ago. Out in the fresh air with no need to pay anyone to enjoy your own little space. So long as the weather behaved and there was food to eat, all was well. I envy my ancestors.

But then there were wild animals to ward off...not to mention lice...ok, now the idea doesn't seem so sweet.

I still wish there was a way to simplify life. It seems the older you get the more life demands of you. Actually it's people that demand more of you. If we all hermit-ised then all people would need us to do is to help chase a few stray dogs away (lions are almost extinct nowadays), perhaps help them dig their shamba. Manageable stuff. This money society of ours is so stressful.

As I wallow in my brokeness and semi-dispair, I seem to be getting closer to achieving my dreams. I have just recently decided that I want to write for a living, preferably as a journalist. And whether it's by coincidence or through effort (it's a mixture of both but more of the latter) I seem to have the right people within reach to help me achieve my desire. I have connections at two media houses that are in strategic positions and after speaking to them it appears that soon I'll be making some decent headway.

There's also my dream number two; to produce videos, short films and eventually a movie. I've fantasized so hard about it that sometimes I've felt like I was coming unhinged. Then in the thick of my fantasies, today happens. At an audition for a part in some local TV show I meet this chap who's into photography and video up to his chin. On the way back from the audition it became quite clear that we are destined to be pals for quite a while. Maybe even forever. I had so many questions about video and he had all the answers! It gets better. He's invited me to a video shoot next week and he's offered to show me all the steps from shooting, to capturing to post-production.

How can everything seem so bad yet so good at the same time?

Am I in the twilight zone?