Keeping up with your dreams is hard. Especially when there are disappointments. Just today I've been trying to get a hold of some contact I got who works for a daily newspaper and meeen! He seems to be constantly in a meeting. What gives? Is he really busy or is he just dodging me?
I normally wonder, when trying to interest a contact in something I have to offer, should I just apply pressure ceaselessly until they break? Or make a phone call once every few days just to give the poor fellow space to breathe?
I tend to be very sensitive to people's feelings so I hate to think that my persistence is bugging someone. The flipside is, I don't think I have the luxury to be a ka-softy. There are many folks I've spoken to and others whose books I've read that claimed that if it wasn't for their pestering certain people they'd never have gotten the opportunity of a lifetime that changed their destiny.
So I guess I'll just have to 'kaa ngumu' like that dude I really don't like (Fred Gumo) and P.U.S.H.: Pressurise Until Something Happens!
Monday 27 September 2010
Sunday 26 September 2010
Book fair
I'm just from a book fair at the Sarit Center. I wasn't too enthusiastic about going because I thought it would be boring and hardly anyone would attend. How wrong I was!
There was quite a flock of people wandering around and some actually buying books. Okay, a lot of them were parents with their kids looking to buy schoolbooks but some literary enthusiasts were present too (like yours truly). You know the kind, dreadlocked, wearing african print shirts, copper and bead jewelery, etc. It's like being artsy in Kenya makes you want to dress more 'ethnic' for some reason. Not that I mind though. Anything is better than a boring old suit I always say.
Come to think of it, my attire was also somewhat patriotic. I had on a t-shirt and cap labelled 'Kenya'. Great coincidence, hmm?
The most appealing stand for me was an e-learning one. A couple of guys there were showcasing a software application that contains lessons for the entire KCSE (Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education) syllabus! Complete with voice overs and flash videos. How cool it that?
It had me feeling like "Where was all this stuff when I was growing up? I'd never have gone to school!" What fun my life would have been. Anyhoo, water under the bridge.
I managed to get some good contacts the best of which was this guy that told me about a club for writers, journalists and the like. I've been searching for such for years! I left feeling quite pleased with myself for having gone to the fair. A Sunday well spent.
There was quite a flock of people wandering around and some actually buying books. Okay, a lot of them were parents with their kids looking to buy schoolbooks but some literary enthusiasts were present too (like yours truly). You know the kind, dreadlocked, wearing african print shirts, copper and bead jewelery, etc. It's like being artsy in Kenya makes you want to dress more 'ethnic' for some reason. Not that I mind though. Anything is better than a boring old suit I always say.
Come to think of it, my attire was also somewhat patriotic. I had on a t-shirt and cap labelled 'Kenya'. Great coincidence, hmm?
The most appealing stand for me was an e-learning one. A couple of guys there were showcasing a software application that contains lessons for the entire KCSE (Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education) syllabus! Complete with voice overs and flash videos. How cool it that?
It had me feeling like "Where was all this stuff when I was growing up? I'd never have gone to school!" What fun my life would have been. Anyhoo, water under the bridge.
I managed to get some good contacts the best of which was this guy that told me about a club for writers, journalists and the like. I've been searching for such for years! I left feeling quite pleased with myself for having gone to the fair. A Sunday well spent.
Thursday 9 September 2010
Wierder and wierder
Never has my life looked more topsy-turvy than right now. First I am at my brokest; if it wasn't for my patient landlord I'd be a hermit by now.
Speaking of hermits, there's this one that lives not too far outside my estate who I see everyday. All he has is a simple tent-ish structure right next to a fence. Every evening he sits there by the small fire that he's lit, stretched out leisurely. How free he seems. No rent to pay, nothing but basic possessions around him. Humanity lived that way not too long ago. Out in the fresh air with no need to pay anyone to enjoy your own little space. So long as the weather behaved and there was food to eat, all was well. I envy my ancestors.
But then there were wild animals to ward off...not to mention lice...ok, now the idea doesn't seem so sweet.
I still wish there was a way to simplify life. It seems the older you get the more life demands of you. Actually it's people that demand more of you. If we all hermit-ised then all people would need us to do is to help chase a few stray dogs away (lions are almost extinct nowadays), perhaps help them dig their shamba. Manageable stuff. This money society of ours is so stressful.
As I wallow in my brokeness and semi-dispair, I seem to be getting closer to achieving my dreams. I have just recently decided that I want to write for a living, preferably as a journalist. And whether it's by coincidence or through effort (it's a mixture of both but more of the latter) I seem to have the right people within reach to help me achieve my desire. I have connections at two media houses that are in strategic positions and after speaking to them it appears that soon I'll be making some decent headway.
There's also my dream number two; to produce videos, short films and eventually a movie. I've fantasized so hard about it that sometimes I've felt like I was coming unhinged. Then in the thick of my fantasies, today happens. At an audition for a part in some local TV show I meet this chap who's into photography and video up to his chin. On the way back from the audition it became quite clear that we are destined to be pals for quite a while. Maybe even forever. I had so many questions about video and he had all the answers! It gets better. He's invited me to a video shoot next week and he's offered to show me all the steps from shooting, to capturing to post-production.
How can everything seem so bad yet so good at the same time?
Am I in the twilight zone?
Speaking of hermits, there's this one that lives not too far outside my estate who I see everyday. All he has is a simple tent-ish structure right next to a fence. Every evening he sits there by the small fire that he's lit, stretched out leisurely. How free he seems. No rent to pay, nothing but basic possessions around him. Humanity lived that way not too long ago. Out in the fresh air with no need to pay anyone to enjoy your own little space. So long as the weather behaved and there was food to eat, all was well. I envy my ancestors.
But then there were wild animals to ward off...not to mention lice...ok, now the idea doesn't seem so sweet.
I still wish there was a way to simplify life. It seems the older you get the more life demands of you. Actually it's people that demand more of you. If we all hermit-ised then all people would need us to do is to help chase a few stray dogs away (lions are almost extinct nowadays), perhaps help them dig their shamba. Manageable stuff. This money society of ours is so stressful.
As I wallow in my brokeness and semi-dispair, I seem to be getting closer to achieving my dreams. I have just recently decided that I want to write for a living, preferably as a journalist. And whether it's by coincidence or through effort (it's a mixture of both but more of the latter) I seem to have the right people within reach to help me achieve my desire. I have connections at two media houses that are in strategic positions and after speaking to them it appears that soon I'll be making some decent headway.
There's also my dream number two; to produce videos, short films and eventually a movie. I've fantasized so hard about it that sometimes I've felt like I was coming unhinged. Then in the thick of my fantasies, today happens. At an audition for a part in some local TV show I meet this chap who's into photography and video up to his chin. On the way back from the audition it became quite clear that we are destined to be pals for quite a while. Maybe even forever. I had so many questions about video and he had all the answers! It gets better. He's invited me to a video shoot next week and he's offered to show me all the steps from shooting, to capturing to post-production.
How can everything seem so bad yet so good at the same time?
Am I in the twilight zone?
Monday 6 September 2010
Think I'll skip the harvest
I have a number of friends in my 'hood that go to Mavuno church. After attending a few of their home bible study/fellowship sessions I really started getting drawn to them. A group of young people going through issues but seeking help (from above) and from each other. What I really liked is the candidness; We grew bold enough to tell each other very personal stuff and that I found really refreshing. We were connecting, the real McCoy. It was all chocolate until some new class about prayer was announced at the church headquarters and the meeting had to break up for a month so that those who wanted to could attend. Big mistake.
We haven't had another home fellowship meeting since and it's been at least two months. People just...drifted, especially the ones in charge of our group. Somehow they only seem to remember that we have a meeting on the very day itself (Thursday) and by then it's too late to get anyone to volunteer to host the group. I wish my house was big enough; I'd host the meeting there every week for two months 'till someone got jealous and decided to host it at theirs. (I'll use that little motivation to work harder, make more money and upgrade to a fellowship-friendly digs.)
So in the meantime I really missed my 'peeps' and had to find a way of seeing them all again (in one place) so I did something I'd been resisting for ages. I went to church...Mavuno, that is. That sounds like a strange thing to say, that I'd been resisting, but hear me out. I'd heard lots of non-positive things about Mavuno, like it being too gisty and the service resembling a night out at a club on Friday. But eventually I gathered my guts up one Sunday and went. Hm.
Experience one wasn't so bad. The topic of the sermon I thought was interesting and relevant, however one song they sang during the praise and worship session...wa! "Niko na, niko na, niko niko na...reason ya ku...CLAP!" Some gospel-crunk track by some guys whose name I can't recall. I was horrified! To others this is isn't a biggie...y'know, so long as someone is singing about God then the style doesn't matter. But when I was growing up it did. Church and worldly music used to be quite different since of course the motives for singing either are different, n'est ce-pas? One to praise God, the other one to boogie to, serenade, etc? But nowadays it's all mashed up. Tsk.
Anyhoo, that was my session one. It didn't put me off Mavuno completely so I went a second time. THIS time around my beef was with the pastor. Some well dressed, well spoken lady with hilarious stories. She really knew how to engage the crowd, but what I couldn't stand about her was she just wouldn't stop giving us orders! "Turn to your neighbour and tell them bla bla bla." "Now turn to your other neighbour and tell THEM bla bla bla." "Stand up if you need Jesus to do etc. etc." Aaargh!
Ok, I sort of understand her reasons for doing that. One was to keep us busy so we don't fall asleep or drift off into Wonderland. Most speakers (motivational and the like) use such tactics. Two was toforce get us to interact so that hopefully we'll become one big family where everyone knows their neighbour and we all live happily ever after. Nice try but I'm not sure that will work.
People mainly go to services to be taught, lecture-style. Not to interact with their neighbour. That is why they all face the preacher and not each other during the service. I am yet to hear of people that met and became fast friends because of bonding while seated side by side during a service. Most intros and bonding happen either before or after the service. That has been my observation. Another place bonding happens is during fellowship meetings such as the one I'm currently missing. In the latter you HAVE to bond otherwise the meeting falls apart pretty quickly. People sit facing each other and probably share a beverage of some sort or a meal. Just like a family sitting down to dinner.
That is what I believe true church to be and I resent that ours has possibly been ruined. Away with the short-sighted bigwigs at Mavuno! You don't know what damage you've caused. Just when everything was going so well. And with that I declare that you will never see this fellow here at any of your services again. I'm skipping your harvest.
We haven't had another home fellowship meeting since and it's been at least two months. People just...drifted, especially the ones in charge of our group. Somehow they only seem to remember that we have a meeting on the very day itself (Thursday) and by then it's too late to get anyone to volunteer to host the group. I wish my house was big enough; I'd host the meeting there every week for two months 'till someone got jealous and decided to host it at theirs. (I'll use that little motivation to work harder, make more money and upgrade to a fellowship-friendly digs.)
So in the meantime I really missed my 'peeps' and had to find a way of seeing them all again (in one place) so I did something I'd been resisting for ages. I went to church...Mavuno, that is. That sounds like a strange thing to say, that I'd been resisting, but hear me out. I'd heard lots of non-positive things about Mavuno, like it being too gisty and the service resembling a night out at a club on Friday. But eventually I gathered my guts up one Sunday and went. Hm.
Experience one wasn't so bad. The topic of the sermon I thought was interesting and relevant, however one song they sang during the praise and worship session...wa! "Niko na, niko na, niko niko na...reason ya ku...CLAP!" Some gospel-crunk track by some guys whose name I can't recall. I was horrified! To others this is isn't a biggie...y'know, so long as someone is singing about God then the style doesn't matter. But when I was growing up it did. Church and worldly music used to be quite different since of course the motives for singing either are different, n'est ce-pas? One to praise God, the other one to boogie to, serenade, etc? But nowadays it's all mashed up. Tsk.
Anyhoo, that was my session one. It didn't put me off Mavuno completely so I went a second time. THIS time around my beef was with the pastor. Some well dressed, well spoken lady with hilarious stories. She really knew how to engage the crowd, but what I couldn't stand about her was she just wouldn't stop giving us orders! "Turn to your neighbour and tell them bla bla bla." "Now turn to your other neighbour and tell THEM bla bla bla." "Stand up if you need Jesus to do etc. etc." Aaargh!
Ok, I sort of understand her reasons for doing that. One was to keep us busy so we don't fall asleep or drift off into Wonderland. Most speakers (motivational and the like) use such tactics. Two was to
People mainly go to services to be taught, lecture-style. Not to interact with their neighbour. That is why they all face the preacher and not each other during the service. I am yet to hear of people that met and became fast friends because of bonding while seated side by side during a service. Most intros and bonding happen either before or after the service. That has been my observation. Another place bonding happens is during fellowship meetings such as the one I'm currently missing. In the latter you HAVE to bond otherwise the meeting falls apart pretty quickly. People sit facing each other and probably share a beverage of some sort or a meal. Just like a family sitting down to dinner.
That is what I believe true church to be and I resent that ours has possibly been ruined. Away with the short-sighted bigwigs at Mavuno! You don't know what damage you've caused. Just when everything was going so well. And with that I declare that you will never see this fellow here at any of your services again. I'm skipping your harvest.
Friday 3 September 2010
Confessions of a watermelon
I quit my job in a huff last March and what an odd experience it's been. I expected it to be like when I was last self-employed (yes, this is my second time around) but it certainly isn't. A boy's gotten smarter of course; I can easily smell a bad deal and walk away rather than get involved then rant and rave later on. What's really different is my lack of...oomph.
Somehow my great love for I.T. waned, even though I was steeped in it for 3 years. If only I didn't read and fantasize so much. Perhaps that's what has me always seeing greenergrass careers across the fence. Actually, that's a terrible thing to say. I would be a boring, ignorant nobody if I didn't read.
So now I'm an interesting, enlightened somebody who's in a very wierd part of his life. Self-employed yet not relishing his work any more. Not too long ago I really fancied being a super-geek with static crackling around my head because of my braininess (and being around electronics all the time) but now that just doesn't seem like a fulfilling way to live. You see, to be a true geek you have to be somewhat of a loner. Your closest companions are your pc/laptop, servers, routers and the like. Those don't talk, they give feedback like "Update successful." or "ERROR 1146 (42S02): Table 'xyz_1' doesn't exist". Even if you have colleagues in the same field and office they too are mostly glued to their screens typing code, scanning log files for strange errors or monitoring backups.
A book I've been reading and re-reading talks of people who work at careers they are competent in but don't love. Journalists masquerading as doctors. A nurse who secretly yearns to be a sculptor. That's how I've been feeling since the end of last year when I finally decided I was going to quit my job.
So I've been a hypocrite of sorts, drinking water while drooling for wine. But it's not all bad in the hood. Read on.
A month or so ago I was watching telly and somehow got glued on K24. It's quite a different station from the rest; there's something raw and fresh about it. My opinion. Another (less appealing) thing about it is awful scripts. Uuui! One particular story I watched was about Muthurwa busstop and the way it is a failure despite what people imagine. It was an enlightening piece but the copy was way below standard. The more stories I watched the more frustrated I got. Is there no one to go through the reporters' copy and at least do a grammar check? Rant rant rant, etc. Then it hit me...
Hey! That's an opportunity right there! Why not find a way to get to K24 and somehow convince them that they need me? Hmm, easier said than done. So I ruminated on that idea for a while and in the meantime I came across a book called Wishcraft. What . a . fantastic . book! A more detailed review later. Basically it talks of how to turn your cherished fantasies into reality in a practical, step-by-step way. One of the ways to do this is by utilizing your human network and getting them to help you accomplish your dream instead of trying to do it all yourself. So I rang up my brother who's an actor and asked him if he knows anyone at K24. Of course he does, in fact the guy he knows is in charge of content. Bingo!
We rang the chap up, booked an appointment pronto and before I knew it I was in one of K24's meeting rooms showing Mr. Content Manager an article I did for the Standard a couple of years ago. I turns out they are currently on the hunt for a script writer/editor (fancy that!) so the man whipped the article out of my hand and went to show it to his boss. Long story short, I was given the boss' email address and asked to forward him my resume and hold tight. Which is what I'm doing now. It's been a couple of days and no response yet but I'm keeping my hopes up. Think I'll give Mr. Content Manager a buzz and ask whether the boss got my email.
Let's see where my audacity lands me. But whether I get the job or not, I ain't giving up just yet.
Somehow my great love for I.T. waned, even though I was steeped in it for 3 years. If only I didn't read and fantasize so much. Perhaps that's what has me always seeing greener
So now I'm an interesting, enlightened somebody who's in a very wierd part of his life. Self-employed yet not relishing his work any more. Not too long ago I really fancied being a super-geek with static crackling around my head because of my braininess (and being around electronics all the time) but now that just doesn't seem like a fulfilling way to live. You see, to be a true geek you have to be somewhat of a loner. Your closest companions are your pc/laptop, servers, routers and the like. Those don't talk, they give feedback like "Update successful." or "ERROR 1146 (42S02): Table 'xyz_1' doesn't exist". Even if you have colleagues in the same field and office they too are mostly glued to their screens typing code, scanning log files for strange errors or monitoring backups.
A book I've been reading and re-reading talks of people who work at careers they are competent in but don't love. Journalists masquerading as doctors. A nurse who secretly yearns to be a sculptor. That's how I've been feeling since the end of last year when I finally decided I was going to quit my job.
So I've been a hypocrite of sorts, drinking water while drooling for wine. But it's not all bad in the hood. Read on.
A month or so ago I was watching telly and somehow got glued on K24. It's quite a different station from the rest; there's something raw and fresh about it. My opinion. Another (less appealing) thing about it is awful scripts. Uuui! One particular story I watched was about Muthurwa busstop and the way it is a failure despite what people imagine. It was an enlightening piece but the copy was way below standard. The more stories I watched the more frustrated I got. Is there no one to go through the reporters' copy and at least do a grammar check? Rant rant rant, etc. Then it hit me...
Hey! That's an opportunity right there! Why not find a way to get to K24 and somehow convince them that they need me? Hmm, easier said than done. So I ruminated on that idea for a while and in the meantime I came across a book called Wishcraft. What . a . fantastic . book! A more detailed review later. Basically it talks of how to turn your cherished fantasies into reality in a practical, step-by-step way. One of the ways to do this is by utilizing your human network and getting them to help you accomplish your dream instead of trying to do it all yourself. So I rang up my brother who's an actor and asked him if he knows anyone at K24. Of course he does, in fact the guy he knows is in charge of content. Bingo!
We rang the chap up, booked an appointment pronto and before I knew it I was in one of K24's meeting rooms showing Mr. Content Manager an article I did for the Standard a couple of years ago. I turns out they are currently on the hunt for a script writer/editor (fancy that!) so the man whipped the article out of my hand and went to show it to his boss. Long story short, I was given the boss' email address and asked to forward him my resume and hold tight. Which is what I'm doing now. It's been a couple of days and no response yet but I'm keeping my hopes up. Think I'll give Mr. Content Manager a buzz and ask whether the boss got my email.
Let's see where my audacity lands me. But whether I get the job or not, I ain't giving up just yet.
Thursday 2 September 2010
Thank you 'confused spinster'!
Thanks to the person named in the title of this entry, I have renewed vigor to blog. There were just a few super-personal snippets I needed to remove which I did and now (thankfully) I'm back. My fingers and intellect are itching!
So this is to you 'confused spinster'. Your humorous, often morose writings resonate so hard with how I am right now that I almost thought I was reading about myself. Let me stop my gushing right there lest I spook you into asking special branch to monitor my blog ;-)
You will of course ignore my previous post...
So this is to you 'confused spinster'. Your humorous, often morose writings resonate so hard with how I am right now that I almost thought I was reading about myself. Let me stop my gushing right there lest I spook you into asking special branch to monitor my blog ;-)
You will of course ignore my previous post...
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