Think I'll skip the harvest

I have a number of friends in my 'hood that go to Mavuno church. After attending a few of their home bible study/fellowship sessions I really started getting drawn to them. A group of young people going through issues but seeking help (from above) and from each other. What I really liked is the candidness; We grew bold enough to tell each other very personal stuff and that I found really refreshing. We were connecting, the real McCoy. It was all chocolate until some new class about prayer was announced at the church headquarters and the meeting had to break up for a month so that those who wanted to could attend. Big mistake.

We haven't had another home fellowship meeting since and it's been at least two months. People just...drifted, especially the ones in charge of our group. Somehow they only seem to remember that we have a meeting on the very day itself (Thursday) and by then it's too late to get anyone to volunteer to host the group. I wish my house was big enough; I'd host the meeting there every week for two months 'till someone got jealous and decided to host it at theirs. (I'll use that little motivation to work harder, make more money and upgrade to a fellowship-friendly digs.)

So in the meantime I really missed my 'peeps' and had to find a way of seeing them all again (in one place) so I did something I'd been resisting for ages. I went to church...Mavuno, that is. That sounds like a strange thing to say, that I'd been resisting, but hear me out. I'd heard lots of non-positive things about Mavuno, like it being too gisty and the service resembling a night out at a club on Friday. But eventually I gathered my guts up one Sunday and went. Hm.

Experience one wasn't so bad. The topic of the sermon I thought was interesting and relevant, however one song they sang during the praise and worship session...wa! "Niko na, niko na, niko niko na...reason ya ku...CLAP!" Some gospel-crunk track by some guys whose name I can't recall. I was horrified! To others this is isn't a biggie...y'know, so long as someone is singing about God then the style doesn't matter. But when I was growing up it did. Church and worldly music used to be quite different since of course the motives for singing either are different, n'est ce-pas? One to praise God, the other one to boogie to, serenade, etc? But nowadays it's all mashed up. Tsk.

Anyhoo, that was my session one. It didn't put me off Mavuno completely so I went a second time. THIS time around my beef was with the pastor. Some well dressed, well spoken lady with hilarious stories. She really knew how to engage the crowd, but what I couldn't stand about her was she just wouldn't stop giving us orders! "Turn to your neighbour and tell them bla bla bla." "Now turn to your other neighbour and tell THEM bla bla bla." "Stand up if you need Jesus to do etc. etc." Aaargh!

Ok, I sort of understand her reasons for doing that. One was to keep us busy so we don't fall asleep or drift off into Wonderland. Most speakers (motivational and the like) use such tactics. Two was to force get us to interact so that hopefully we'll become one big family where everyone knows their neighbour and we all live happily ever after. Nice try but I'm not sure that will work.

People mainly go to services to be taught, lecture-style. Not to interact with their neighbour. That is why they all face the preacher and not each other during the service. I am yet to hear of people that met and became fast friends because of bonding while seated side by side during a service. Most intros and bonding happen either before or after the service. That has been my observation. Another place bonding happens is during fellowship meetings such as the one I'm currently missing. In the latter you HAVE to bond otherwise the meeting falls apart pretty quickly. People sit facing each other and probably share a beverage of some sort or a meal. Just like a family sitting down to dinner.

That is what I believe true church to be and I resent that ours has possibly been ruined. Away with the short-sighted bigwigs at Mavuno! You don't know what damage you've caused. Just when everything was going so well. And with that I declare that you will never see this fellow here at any of your services again. I'm skipping your harvest.

Confessions of a watermelon

I quit my job in a huff last March and what an odd experience it's been. I expected it to be like when I was last self-employed (yes, this is my second time around) but it certainly isn't. A boy's gotten smarter of course; I can easily smell a bad deal and walk away rather than get involved then rant and rave later on. What's really different is my lack of...oomph.

Somehow my great love for I.T. waned, even though I was steeped in it for 3 years. If only I didn't read and fantasize so much. Perhaps that's what has me always seeing greener grass careers across the fence. Actually, that's a terrible thing to say. I would be a boring, ignorant nobody if I didn't read.

So now I'm an interesting, enlightened somebody who's in a very wierd part of his life. Self-employed yet not relishing his work any more. Not too long ago I really fancied being a super-geek with static crackling around my head because of my braininess (and being around electronics all the time) but now that just doesn't seem like a fulfilling way to live. You see, to be a true geek you have to be somewhat of a loner. Your closest companions are your pc/laptop, servers, routers and the like. Those don't talk, they give feedback like "Update successful." or "ERROR 1146 (42S02): Table 'xyz_1' doesn't exist". Even if you have colleagues in the same field and office they too are mostly glued to their screens typing code, scanning log files for strange errors or monitoring backups.

A book I've been reading and re-reading talks of people who work at careers they are competent in but don't love. Journalists masquerading as doctors. A nurse who secretly yearns to be a sculptor. That's how I've been feeling since the end of last year when I finally decided I was going to quit my job.

So I've been a hypocrite of sorts, drinking water while drooling for wine. But it's not all bad in the hood. Read on.

A month or so ago I was watching telly and somehow got glued on K24. It's quite a different station from the rest; there's something raw and fresh about it. My opinion. Another (less appealing) thing about it is awful scripts. Uuui! One particular story I watched was about Muthurwa busstop and the way it is a failure despite what people imagine. It was an enlightening piece but the copy was way below standard. The more stories I watched the more frustrated I got. Is there no one to go through the reporters' copy and at least do a grammar check? Rant rant rant, etc. Then it hit me...

Hey! That's an opportunity right there! Why not find a way to get to K24 and somehow convince them that they need me? Hmm, easier said than done. So I ruminated on that idea for a while and in the meantime I came across a book called Wishcraft. What . a . fantastic . book! A more detailed review later. Basically it talks of how to turn your cherished fantasies into reality in a practical, step-by-step way. One of the ways to do this is by utilizing your human network and getting them to help you accomplish your dream instead of trying to do it all yourself. So I rang up my brother who's an actor and asked him if he knows anyone at K24. Of course he does, in fact the guy he knows is in charge of content. Bingo!

We rang the chap up, booked an appointment pronto and before I knew it I was in one of K24's meeting rooms showing Mr. Content Manager an article I did for the Standard a couple of years ago. I turns out they are currently on the hunt for a script writer/editor (fancy that!) so the man whipped the article out of my hand and went to show it to his boss. Long story short, I was given the boss' email address and asked to forward him my resume and hold tight. Which is what I'm doing now. It's been a couple of days and no response yet but I'm keeping my hopes up. Think I'll give Mr. Content Manager a buzz and ask whether the boss got my email.

Let's see where my audacity lands me. But whether I get the job or not, I ain't giving up just yet.

Thank you 'confused spinster'!

Thanks to the person named in the title of this entry, I have renewed vigor to blog. There were just a few super-personal snippets I needed to remove which I did and now (thankfully) I'm back. My fingers and intellect are itching!

So this is to you 'confused spinster'. Your humorous, often morose writings resonate so hard with how I am right now that I almost thought I was reading about myself. Let me stop my gushing right there lest I spook you into asking special branch to monitor my blog ;-)

You will of course ignore my previous post...

Its ending...

I think this blog is a little too revealing about me so for those that have just had a look, take a good one. Its quite possibly the last.

Sayonara.

Poetry - and Grace Lewellyn

Last Saturday:

- After a terrible end of week, I look forward to some poetry session in the eve. Before that happens I meet up with bro and almost give up the poetry for drinks and masculine stories...man, am I GLAD I stuck to the script! That poetry session was truly something. Them youngsters have lots of feeling and brain in their bodies. It made me want to sit up at night and write a few lines myself. Which I shall. Soon.

Sunday:

- So the poetry ends and Sunday is with me again. Sleep, sleep and more sleep. Awful. However, late afternoon I head off to the 'Flame' with Grace Lewellyn's book underarm (The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to quit school and get a real life and education). Best book I've bought in ten years. I've already read it once, now I'm taking tiny bites and chewing them thoroughly. Came out of that session with a calm spirit and resolve in my heart. Follow my dreams and do that NOW. Not tomorrow. Now.

Today:

- I can boldly testify that yesterday's Lewellyn session worked. I've had quite a productive and relatively peaceful day. Read lots of intense stuff on wedding photography. Who knew something so mundane sounding could be so deep? One website made it sound like calculus! However I ain't discouraged in the least. I'll just get a good mentorship and that should do me loads of good; better than any photography class. That heavy book on photography at Lifestyle wouldn't hurt either.

- Let me summarize with my Theme for the Season: Like Thoreau, I want to "live deliberately...and suck out all the marrow of life..."

Some light - but I'm still in '09

- New year huh? Not for me. Still in '09 mode. Haven't quite gotten a crystal clear vision of the first step to take into the new dispensation. HOWEVER, I just had one really solid thought about where my frustrations stem from:

Most of what I read is not in any way relevant to what I do! My vocation and hobby(s) don't have as much as they should in common! At last I've articulated it. Punched it right in the nose. What's the point of endlessly educating myself on culture, education, photography, cinema, etc. if it only ends up as interesting conversation? How incomplete! That stuff needs to be put into practice. Study and apply: the best way to educate. So the dilemma now is where to begin. My strongest urge is to begin with photography (which seems simpler to elbow my way into). I must get me some leads pronto. As in this week...nil procrastination.

- Is this the end of 'pure' eye-tee for me, for good?

- The woman: she definitely isn't in my sights yet. One radical, the rest all potential...somethings. But certainly not permanent housemates. Not until further scrutiny. I'm putting that one on ice for a while.

Cisco and beyond

- It is finally here: the Cisco era. I attend a class at least 4 times a week and boy/girl, is it fun! I get the feeling the proffesseur is pushing the envelope and teaching more that the scope of the curriculum, but that can't hurt me can it?

- John Taylor Gatto still make SO much sense to me. Going through some mp3's of his speeches right now. I urge one and all to search the net for his material. It's good, deep stuff to chew on in one's free time. It sure beats watching endless series (24, Heroes...), the empty voyeurism of facebook etc.

- Finally met up (socially) with my telephone friend. She's not half bad actually (nice, firm figure, ahem.) Uses the word 'bastard' a bit too freely for my comfort but she's not as wild as I had feared either, considering her age. Where will this liason end I wonder? I sense a landmine of sorts. Nice and quiet on the outside but when you set foot on it..BOOM! You lose that foot. Careful.

- I'm off for an intervention in a bit. Almost called it 'charity work' but that would have de-personalised it. It's not one of those Corporate Social Responsibility things, its a couple of friends in trouble that another friend and I are trying to sort out. More on this later.

- The immediate future looks sizzling, I can hardly wait for every next happening to happen. The coming week should be a thriller of an episode. Watch this space, I'll probably be itching to catalogue it. 'Till then, I bid y'all farewell.